


The Wildest Woe Is Love

by SKJC



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 22:58:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11000769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SKJC/pseuds/SKJC
Summary: Yuri doesn't want to be in love with his best friend. Unfortunately, he can't really help it.





	The Wildest Woe Is Love

**Author's Note:**

> I was writing this before the release of the full WTTM sequence, so I went back and edited a few of the details from the manga into it. 
> 
> Also, this is the first thing I've written without smut in it (other than my AU) for some time now. I wonder what that says about me.

Yuri was supposed to be getting ready for Worlds. Instead, he was pondering one question over and over again in his head: How the hell had his life gotten so goddamn complicated? 

Oh. Right. Otabek fucking Altin. With his stupid hair and his stupid face and his stupid motorcycle.

After the Grand Prix Final, Yuri had been extremely surprised he actually enjoyed the other skater’s company. The only problem was that he may have enjoyed it a little too much. He was a little disgusted with himself, to be perfectly honest. The last thing he wanted was to end up like fucking Victor, who could barely stand to be apart from Katsudon for ten damn minutes.

People in love were disgusting, and Yuri had a sinking feeling that he might be in love with his best friend. This had definitely not been a part of his plans for his life.

It had all started innocently enough. The antics they had gotten up to in Barcelona had cemented their friendship solidly. Between going shopping together, following Otabek to the club, and then sharing his feelings about his skating routines while they sat together on the beach, Yuri quickly felt like he had known the enigmatic man for much longer than just a few days. It was like they’d been drawn together by some force of the universe.

However, despite the titillating nature of his exhibition skate, his intention then had been solely to shock everyone, and at the time, he’d thought nothing of sticking his fingers in Otabek’s mouth in front of the entire audience. It wasn’t because he _wanted_ him, he had told himself afterwards, it was just a performance. A hell of a good one, to be sure, but that was it. But he kept recalling Otabek’s words on the beach… _“That’s the Yuri that I want to see the most.”_

Saying goodbye to Otabek at the end of the weekend had thrown him for a loop, though. Otabek had engulfed him in a hug and flashed him a brief, bright smile. Then he had brushed a bit of Yuri's messy hair out of his eyes, and the gesture had made Yuri feel like he’d forgotten how to breathe for a moment. He almost didn’t want to think about what his reaction meant.

They didn't talk all that much immediately upon parting ways, but every so often they exchanged pictures or idle conversation or even tagged each other in posts on social media, which drove certain segments of their fans wild. It was odd at first for Yuri to realize that Otabek thought of him when they were apart. Even so, the contact grew more and more frequent, and it was somewhat disconcerting how much he found himself looking forward to each new message.

By the time Yuri had won the European Championship, they were talking on Skype at least once a week. Those calls had been Yuri's next big clue that his feelings went beyond simple platonic friendship. Otabek would play music for him, original creations as well as his remixes, and some of the work felt intensely personal, like Otabek was sharing something emotionally intimate with him. Thinking too much about the implications of that had started to drive him crazy.

Fuck, he was going to have to deal with this one way or another. Worlds would be the first time they’d seen each other in person in months and the last thing he wanted was to make a fool of himself. 

That went out the window as soon as he saw Otabek at the hotel. He was sure he was blushing when Otabek hugged him again, and he was pissed off at himself for not having more control over his reactions, but he’d forgotten how good Otabek smelled and how comforting the embrace of his strong arms was. God damn it. 

By the end of the weekend, Yuri was the world champion. His performance of _Agape_ had set a new world record yet again, and his _Appassionato_ had been a personal best. There was no way he would have let his confusion about these stupid fucking feelings get in the way of kicking ass on the ice, after all. 

Yuri snuck out of the banquet after just an hour, finding an opening to do so when Yakov was busy yelling at Victor over something ridiculous. Formal events sucked at the best of times, and the sight of Otabek in a fitted suit was too much, especially after watching the passion with which he’d skated in the competition. He needed silence for a while more than he needed to socialize with a bunch of half-drunk idiot skaters and coaches in a banquet hall. 

Unfortunately, he’d only been back in his room long enough to change out of his suit and tie into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt when there was a knock at the door. It didn’t seem angry enough to be Yakov, so he answered it, despite the fact that he’d rather sit around in bed and scroll through his social media accounts. 

When Yuri swung the door open, there was Otabek, still dressed for the banquet, a confused expression on his face. 

“Is everything okay? I noticed you leaving,” he said, genuine concern evident in the words.

“I’m fine.” Yuri said with a shrug, once he remembered that he needed to breathe and not just stare at his friend. “I just got sick of all the commotion down there. I wanted to be alone.” He glanced awkwardly down at his gross, bruised-up feet and suddenly wished he had bothered to put socks on when he changed clothes. 

“Oh.” Otabek gave a slow nod of acknowledgement. “Well, I guess I’ll leave you alone if you want. I was just concerned.”

“You don’t have to go.” The words came out of Yuri’s mouth more quickly than he intended. “I mean, we barely got to hang out this weekend. You can stay. I mean, if you want. I don’t mind.” He wished it were possible to kick himself because of how stupid he sounded. 

Otabek regarded him curiously for a moment. “Okay,” he said simply, and followed Yuri into the room. 

They ended up deciding on a movie to watch on Yuri’s laptop, but he didn’t pay attention to a minute of it. Otabek was seated on the bed next to him. He’d taken off his jacket and tie and unbuttoned the collar of his shirt for comfort, and Yuri couldn’t help stealing surreptitious glances at his jawline, neck, and the top of his chest. How had he turned into this kind of a person who would look at his best friend like that? And why did it piss him off so much that he wanted to kiss him?

When the movie was over, Otabek sat back against the headboard of the bed and looked over at him. “Do you want to watch something else?” he asked, idly scrolling through the folder of video files on the laptop.

“You fucking ruined my life, asshole.” Yuri hadn’t meant the words to come out quite like that, or really at all, and he curled up into a ball on the bed, face buried into one of the pillows and burning with embarrassment. 

Otabek stared in shock for several moments before he found the ability to form words again. “Excuse me?” he asked incredulously. “What have I done?”

Yuri was silent. He didn’t want to do this. Acknowledging it would mean it was _real_. What if Otabek didn’t even want to be around him anymore? Why couldn’t he just have kept his goddamn mouth shut? 

“Yuri, you’re really going to need to elaborate on that statement.” Otabek somehow sounded upset, and confused, and scared all at once, and the realization that he’d fucked up by blurting out what he did smacked Yuri square in the face. 

“I’m fucking in love with you, okay?” He spoke in a rush against the pillow. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it for months and I hate it. I miss you all the time. Even tonight, I just wanted to hang out with you and my stupid fucking brain wants to kiss you, it’s ridiculous.” 

When Otabek hadn’t said anything after a full minute, but also hadn’t gotten up to leave, Yuri finally dared to slowly raise his head and look for any hint of a reaction. 

“You’re something else, you know.” Otabek’s tone was mildly chiding but there was a small smile on his face. “Of all the things I thought you might be angry about, I have to say that didn’t cross my mind.”

“Don’t make fun of me,” Yuri grumbled. 

“I’m not.” Otabek reached out and placed one hand on Yuri’s shoulder. “But can you please tell me why being in love with me makes you angry?”

Yuri screwed his eyes shut with a sigh, and then he finally forced himself to sit up and look at Otabek for real. If he had to do this, he wanted to do it right. “I don’t like not being in control of how I feel,” he admitted. “I want to just be able to spend time with you without being consumed by these fucking feelings.” 

“Would it help if I told you if I feel the same?” Otabek asked gently. “That I miss you all the time too? That I don’t have any more control over it than you do?”

Yuri’s eyes went wide as saucers while he processed Otabek’s statement. “But you always seem like you have your shit together,” he said lamely. 

“You seemed that way too, at least until you scared the hell out of me a minute ago.” Otabek chuckled lightly, and his smile put Yuri a little more at ease. “You know that’s normal, right? Everyone feels that way when they have these kinds of feelings for someone, at least at first.”

“I still hate it,” Yuri said with a dejected sigh and a glance down at the bedspread. 

“I’m sorry.” Otabek sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. “I’ll go, then. I don’t want you to feel bad about this.”

Yuri glared at him and grabbed his hand as he moved to stand up. “I didn’t say I wanted you to leave.”

“You’re sending very mixed signals here,” Otabek said, but he let Yuri pull him back to a seated position. “If you’re so mad, why do you want me to stay?”

“Because I’m mad at myself, not at you,” Yuri said with a roll of his eyes. This whole conversation was getting ridiculous. “Look, can you just shut up and kiss me so I can get the hell over thinking about it all the time?”

Otabek lifted Yuri’s hand in his own and kissed the knuckles gently, sending a shiver through Yuri’s body. “I’ll gladly do that if you want, but I don’t know that it’ll have the result you’re looking for.”

When Otabek’s lips finally touched his for the first time, Yuri was sure that he was right. There was absolutely no way actually kissing his best friend - boyfriend? - would make him think about it _less._ Otabek’s lips were warm, and soft, and not chapped at all, and he was gentle and loving and absolutely not anything like what Yuri had imagined in some of his more embarrassing fantasies. There would be time for that later, though, and he wasn’t sure he was even ready for it. For right now, this was everything he wanted. 

When it was over, Otabek pulled him into a gentle embrace against the headboard of the bed, just holding him. “Was that okay?” 

“Perfect,” Yuri murmured in reply, snuggling against Otabek’s broad chest. He still hated the idea of having the stupid goddamn feelings that had the power to control his behavior, and he couldn’t stand the idea of being some lovesick asshole. But maybe being able to be with Otabek like this was worth it.


End file.
